Thursday, June 10, 2010

Life update

I wanted to thank all of you for the comfort and support you sent me after my previous life update.

The good news we received this Monday is that the appeal my mom's oncologist filed was accepted and Mamisha will be getting Tarceva for two more months, and then they will take another PET/CT and decide what's next. In the meanwhile she is not feeling very well and is weak, but the news cheered her up and soon it will be her birthday (next week actually) so we are hoping for a few quiet days. Or as quiet as they can be.

As for me, I have been practicing Tonglen or compassion awakening meditation for the past couple of weeks. I read about it in Sogyal Rinpoche's Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (an absolute must read for every person in face of their own or a beloved's death) and although I doubt I am practicing it correctly or that it actually helps anyone other than myself, I find it comforting and relaxing and I even started finding the strength in myself to include other people in it, other than Mamisha and myself. I found it so hard, throughout my life, to embody compassion towards myself and others, and still am, but strangely I am able to take on my mother's suffering onto myself without fear, using it as an instrument to (in the words of Wiki) reduce my selfish attachment.

Please keep Mamisha and our family in your prayers. We have tough times ahead of us, but for now, we feel relieved.

4 comments:

Chen Shapira said...

Sending lots of hugs and positive energy to you and your mamisha.

It is tragic that you should lose both your parents at such a young age and I am glad you find solace in meditation.

Try to remember that you are blessed to have such a close relationship with your mother and that you can be with her near the end. I will never forgive myself for being away from my grandparents during their last year.

niftyknits said...

oh Sharona, I'm so sorry I missed your earlier post (which I have now read)

Keep strong my friend. Sending best wishes your way...

juniejo said...

Always here sending you love and friendship !!!! I know Mamisha is just so blessed and proud to have you as a daughter !!! who wouldn't be !!! I am blessed to have you as a friend !!!!

Sharona R - שרונה ראובני said...

Chen, you were so much younger, and you are such a strong woman. I get strength from your story.

Thank you Nifty dear, I appreciate that.

Jujie, you are a true and very close friend. Even when I am unreachable, you know why. I am blessed to have you too.