Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Life update

Lately I have been Twitting a lot in Hebrew, mainly due to general lack of energy and specific need of support from local buddies. So here is a little life update, for those of you who read my blog but don't really know me.

My mother, with whom I am living again these past few years, has metastatic lung cancer. She has been on an amazing drug called Tarceva for the past year. For the first 9 months it had reduced her tumor, but now the tumor is growing again and yesterday the Health Maintenance Organization informed her that they are not going to finance the 4000$ the drug costs per month anymore. In short - they decided it's time for her to die already.

Obviously, we are shocked, full of rage and depressed. We have a lot of work ahead of us, in terms of appealing the HMO's decision, seeing more doctors and getting second opinions, asking different people for help, and so on. At this point in time, I am doing worse than my mom, cause she saw it coming and I didn't. She has been going through what I am going through now last week, she sure hid it well.

I am doing my best to take care of myself and mom. If nothing changes, she will stop taking Tarceva in a few days and start deteriorating. I don't know what exactly will happen and how long it will take, but there is not going to be a happy ending here.

Obviously, I am not in a very creative mood - hence the lack of interesting\funny posts and projects. I haven't been able to make a puppet in a few weeks now. Hopefully, we will get some good news soon and I will be able to recoup quickly. If not - well, that's life for you. I am aching almost more than I can bear, but at least I get to spend as much time as I can with my dear, beloved, sweet, silly, funny and wise mother. This is definitely a time I will treasure for the rest of my life. It's getting through the next few months that is the problem. Only God knows where I get strength to hang on. Well, not true. Friends, support, random acts of kindness, a silly Flutterbutt here and a silly joke there. If it weren't for love and humor, we would all be doomed.

Please keep my mom and me in your prayers, if you are the praying type. I hope I will not lose my followers because of this hard time. I am sure I will return to my old (or rather, a new and improved) cheerful self when this temporary hell is all over.

17 comments:

juniejo said...

I dont know what to say !!! I am in shock !!! Myself, Tommy and Lucy send you and dear sweet Mamisha all our love and prayers ... we are always here and you know that !!!! extra prayers will be said !!!LOVE YOU ALWAYS MY DEAR FRIEND AND DEAR DEAR MAMISH

Sharona R - שרונה ראובני said...

Junie, you are a ray of sunshine in my life - at the worst and best days. Thank God for the Internet and bringing you into my life.

לובה said...

אני מאחלת לך מקרב לבי שהמצב של אמך ישתפר,
מחזקת אותך ומתפללת עבור שתיכן.
תחזיקו מעמד.

Ooty said...

אוי שרונה מה שעובר עליכם, ליבי איתך ואני מקווה שיסתדר בהקדם הכל

Krishenka said...

Sharona you are such a wonderful daughter and your mother must be so proud of you. I am, and my thoughts and wishes are with you and your mother. Dam them for their decision to not pay for the treatment I am ao sorry and just wish things could be different. Much love to you both, I kiss you.

Chrissie xxx

Sharona R - שרונה ראובני said...

תודה לובה ועותי. אמא מתעקשת לעבור יום אחד אחרי יום אחד. בינתים היא בסדר. בשבוע הבא נכנס להילוך גבוה של פגישות עם גורמים שונים וערעורים. אני עושה כל מיני דברים כדי לטפל בעצמי עד כמה שאפשר, אבל אי אפשר לברוח מהמציאות. זה מה יש עכשיו. אני מזועזעת ורותחת על זה שבמקום להתרכז בהחלמה, היא צריכה להתעסק בכל החרא הבירוקרטי הזה. אני זועמת שמדינה שבה אין עונש מוות, גזרו על אמא שלי עונש מוות ביסורים. אני מקווה שתחושת חוסר האונים שאני חשה עכשיו, תתחלף במשהו מעצים יותר, אבל לנוכח המדינה שבה אנו חיים, אני לא תולה בזה יותר מדי תקוות

Sharona R - שרונה ראובני said...

Thank you Chrissie. I just want this pain to end for all of us, only I know it won't for a while now. It's hard to cope with this.

Anonymous said...

I send you all the love my heart can hold. I pray for peace and strength for you and your family.

always, your queenie

נעלולה said...

אין מילים.
חיבוקים וכתף תומכת, לך וגם לאמא.

Hadas said...

I'm not the praying type, but will keep my fingers crossed for you, hoping for a happy end after all.
Be strong and stay as great as you are!

Odeliaa said...

מקווה שתלחמי ותנצחי את כל הבירוקרטיה המטומטמת הזו.

מאחלת לך חוזק, בריאות וכוח להתמודד עם כל הסיפור המזעזע הזה
ולאימך הקלה, שיפור במצב ויותר.

תחזיקו מעמד.

FeltLikeStitchin said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I hope you can find the strength to enjoy every moment you have left together - life truly is precious.
Take care and know that lots of people around the world are thinking about you both.

Belly said...

So frustrating. Praying for you and hoping this stupid government will realize how stupid and cruel this is and stop this idiocy.

Sharona R - שרונה ראובני said...

Thank you all so very much, your words make me feel stronger.

The insane part is that if you see my mom, unless you see her limping, you would never think she is sick. That is nuts! They truly will be killing her by stopping the drug.

Yael said...

The medication funding thing is infuriating. I do hope your battle will have a just end. As for your mother - I'm so so sorry. I remember meeting her once many years ago. She was very sweet [and still IS I'm sure]. There are no comforting words in this situation. I know for myself that my mom is EVERYTHING to me and I'm sure yours is the same for you. I'm not the praying time, but my thoughts will be with you nonetheless.

Yael said...

*time=type

Sharona R - שרונה ראובני said...

Thank you my dear, I have some meetings this week, hopefully there will be some useful progress soon.