Walk a mile in Henry the 8th's disgusting shoes

I am a person who prides in changing her mind.

Till the age of 20 I was strictly against dying my hair. By the age of 21 I had purple hair. Going to London last week I swore to myself I will not buy anything with trendy nits and ended up buying a black nitted mini skirt. I could give you endless further examples, since after all - if you do not change your mind about things throughout your life, you are not fully committed to living (IMO). But there is one thing I will not change my mind about and that is the ugly, common, disgusting invention of the Crocs shoe (if you can call this abomination a shoe).

So you can imagine my dismay when I opened the "Henry VIII and His Wives Paper Dolls" book I bought at Benjamin Pollock's toy shop in Covent Garden and found my favorite king wore them!

I feel like throwing up

It is well known that the fat, foul-smelling, sick, and furious old king had once been the most beautiful prince in Europe. When he was young, he was considered fashionable and well groomed. So why the hell did he wear Crocs even then? Did he wear it while traveling on his private jet and change it to bejeweled loafers when he got off? Shame on you Henry! You might as well had composed "Green Crocs" as far as I am concerned.

Getting sicker by the minute I am

Do us all a favor, Henry, pretend you're Glenn Carter - and walk like a man.